Accountability

For some reason I struggle with accountability.   Recently I joined Weight Watchers and only gained weight.  I was on that program once before and had good results for a short time then ended up gaining some of the weight back while still on the program.  I believe this is a good program, it just isn't working for me.  I have tried to be accountable to a friend and to my husband.  I really don't respond well to having my husband as my accountability partner.  I just get defensive when he asks me about my workout habits for my food choices and I don't want that causing problems in my marriage.  I have a couple friends who make good accountability partners, until we all fall off the wagon together.  Why is this such a struggle for me?  Why do I have this mental trigger?  I fight back rather than use it as a tool.  When I see a cop checking traveler's speed, I slow down.  When I know the boss will be in town, I try harder to get to work on time.  When my bank account balance is low, I slow down my spending.  Why can't I apply this same logic to healthy living?

I'm reading a book by Lysa Terkeurst called 'Made to Crave: Satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food'.  (Review to come later).  I want to learn from this book because it is a genius concept.  God created us to crave Him, desire Him, rely on Him, yet somehow the enemy has used this to his will and moved my focus to an unhealthy lifestyle.  I eat to much, I drink to much, I don't exercise enough. I need to see when the devil is trying to manipulate me and use that as a trigger to pray and not do something unhealthy.

The book selections I made at the library recently are comical to me.  Well, interesting anyway.  I started reading 'Made to Crave' the same time I started reading 'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis.  I didn't see any kind of link between the books when I checked them out.  I wanted a self-help type book and a novel to read for entertainment.  As I started reading them together, I think it was Divine.  The self-help to show me a direction and the novel to show me how the devil is getting into my head.  The enemy doesn't come in the form of a scary guy with a pitchfork and tail, he whispers in your ear and tries to keep you complacent.  If you are comfortable where you are right now, you probably need to move.  I say this to myself more than to anyone. I'm very comfortable in my life right now, I'm comfortable in my jeans that are bigger than they should be.  It's definitely time to move!  Guess it's time to get on my knees and find out where I should be moving too.

Are you having the same struggles?  Do you feel like the enemy is keeping you at a comfortable distance from the path God has for you?