Friday, June 3, 2016

Never stop dating your husband

Well folks, I have been doing almost no reading lately.  I'm halfheartedly rereading Anne Rice's Vampire Chronicles and I'm slowly listening to the Harry Potter books.  I'm not reading anything new or anything that hasn't been reviewed a million times on the interwebs, so I don't really want to talk much about books these days.  I'd have much more to say about Netflix than books right now, but we don't need to talk about that either...

Let's talk more about relationships.  I got some nice feedback on the last bit of relationship advice I posted for you, so maybe I'm onto something.  Please know, I am in no way an expert on anything relationship, these are always only my opinions so use your own brain and consider how what I say may fit into your own life before you take any of my advice.  I'm not always good at things like feelings and emotions, but I tend to be fairly practical and that helps and hubs and I have been married for almost 10 years and still like each other.  So here we go:

We change over time; personalities, values, priorities, etc.  What was important to you in your early twenties before kids, is probably not nearly as important in your early thirties with a few youngsters and a career.  I know I am a completely different wife at 32 than I was at 22 and I'll likely be a completely different mother to these twinsies than I was with Princess.  A few things I've learned while raising Princess and experiencing nephews:

  • Babies and toddlers aren't nearly as fragile as I had expected.
  • The house won't always be clean.
  • Accept help from people and let them do things their way.
  • Dog treats won't actually hurt your toddler.
Don't judge me, life can be crazy.

Something else I realized is how easy it can be to neglect your marriage when your kids rely on you so much.  It is especially important to spend time on that relationship when it is the easiest one to ignore.  In order to keep your relationship healthy, you must continue to get to know your husband.   Just like we must maintain our relationship with God through prayer, we have to continually have conversations with our husbands.  When we start neglecting rather than nurturing that relationship, the enemy will start to push his way into the gaps that form.

I know, I know, I hear you.  "But April, we are so busy!  Who has time for all that?"  I'm not saying devote huge chunks of time here,  I'm just saying talk to each other.  Ask each other's opinions on matters around the house.  Ask how his day was.  Ask him if there is something you should all do over the weekend. And... wait for it... this is a big one... LISTEN to what he says.  Even if you can only handle about 10 minutes before you go to bed at night, try to have some kind of adult conversation with your husband, preferably about something other than the kiddos.

  • What is going on in the news around the world?
  • Did you see that funny video so-and-so posted on Facebook today?
  • Did you see how pretty our yard is now that the flowers are blooming?
What are some topics you like to talk to your husband about?

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